Day 1- The Feet

So I am sitting here in class so bored I am seriously considering opening the window directly behind me and jumping out. Everybody in class is so bored too that nobody would even notice. It's not that high up. I think I could survive the jump.

The first (possibly only) topic I would like to discuss is the issue of grown up people being barefoot in public places, such as the movie theater, and in this instance, class. You know who you are!

There is a woman approximately four feet to my right who is completely bare foot. It is not like she is like a cool hippy or something who cannot be oppressed by something so meaningless as shoes. She is about 40-45, and she is sitting her with her bare feet propped up lazily on an empty desk.

First, it really sicks me out that there very well may have been bare, gross feet in a desk that I have sat or am currently sitting. UHHHH!!! I will never know the disgusting nature of my surroundings, and this is something that my slightly OCD brain has excepted, yet I cannot help but think of some sort of way to mark the desk The Feet are currently using so I can rest assured that I am not sitting in that particular desk next week, or at any point this semester. Perhaps a post-it note or something could be strategically placed. It needs to be something that I can look at while still being in a normal standing or sitting position, but not something everyone else knows it there. ( Although a large sign adhered to the back of the chair warning that bare feet have rested here would be beneficial to everyone, in my opinion). I will keep thinking of that conundrum through out class.

Second, these feet are definitely not normal human female feet. They are much like hairless hobbit feet. They are unnaturally tan, and this lady keeps stretching out the gigantic talons of toes as if they have been carrying something like a small mammal or fish for many, many miles. I am seriously unable to carry on with my school work because of these horrific hooves. This cannot be legal. I guess feet are better than sitting behind someone with giant unnaturally tan visible butt crack, but it is still gross and distracting.

OK, I think that's all on The Feet... for now...

I wonder if everyone else in class has "checked out" as I have. I am sure I'm not alone. I bet I am alone in the fact that I am using my shear boredom for good (not evil or indolence). I bet I am the only person who is blogging while everyone else half listens to a small British woman stumble over the issue of the Social Security Act of 1935.

I've tried the other ways of dealing with boredom: the brain shut down, the eyes open nap, the overused word or gesture of the professor count, the think of a funny background story of the person sitting next to me, and now the in-class blog. Oh, also I just invented a new boredom fighter: the randomly raising your hand when a question or survey is posed without knowing the answer, question or survey topic. Professor just asked who has... something... and I raised my hand. It's a small rush, it's a lower-risk Russian Roulette kind of game.

Class update: we have just burned an hour and a half discussing how to go about writing a paper. AND THIS IS GRADUATE SCHOOL!!!

Exciting news: The Feet has just stood and walked across the classroom to discuss something with Professor! I cannot believe this lady! It's not like she brought (not wore because I have no evidence of that yet), hiking books with thick confusing laces or some sort of therapeutic brace/shoes, she has flip flops. Flip Flops are literally the closest type of footwear to actually being barefoot.

How gross and lazy do you have to be to think, "I'm going to go speak with this esteemed professor, a doctor of social work, a published author, barefoot. Should I slip on my inappropriate footwear, nah, barefoot it is!" If she leaves the room without shoes on I am calling the authorities. This lady should NOT be wearing flip flops.

Oh, thank God! I have just received word that we will be watching a film for the remainder of the class. I can watch any movie and not be bored at this point. Although a movie will certainly add to The Feet's need to be The Feet. I don't want to know what is going to happen...