Class # 2: The Great Sombrero Commute

Have you ever seen something so strikingly out of the ordinary when you are by yourself that you still look over as if your friend or somebody is sitting next to you and you are like "what in the..."

Today I saw a man in an impossibly small hatchback car driving down the street while wearing an impossibly large sombrero. The sombrero was so large that it made all mirrors obsolete for the man. He would have had to take the impossibly large sombrero off and fold it somehow into his hatchback trunk before he would have ever even been close to looking in the rear view mirror.

I wondered first, now, why would a man be wearing such an impossibly large sombrero on such a cloudy day? Why was he wearing it in his vehicle? And what was also strange is that he seemed to be very frustrated with the hat. Almost as over-the-top frustrated as those fools in the infomercials who can't figure out how to open a jar or use a pair of scissors.

I followed behind him for a while, afraid to pass as he would have never seen me until I was safely in front of him. I thought that maybe he was some sort of pigmently challenged person who is allergic to the sun or some kind of mascot or something. Maybe he forgot to take off the impossibly large sombrero before he got in the car, then was unable to do so after he was already in. This would explain his frustration with his obstructed vision.

Don't get me wrong, I have worn bizarre outfits while driving, but I was always on the way to some kind of Halloween or theme party, except for the one time I wore the big afro wig from no real reason. The wig never obstructed my vision while driving, though.

People shouldn't wear such large hats while indoors. Arguably cars are indoors. It is a danger for a person to wear such a large hat while walking, much less driving. I think I will write my congressperson about passing some sort of Large Hat Obstruction of the Driver's Field of Vision legislation to keep these people off our roads.

Anyway, after about 10 minutes of following the impossibly large sombrero, I decided to risk passing so I could get a good look at the man underneath.

The man underneath turned out to be exactly the man you would imagine to be wearing an impossibly large sombrero. Picture him in your head before reading my description... Got it?... OK?

He was a middle aged Hispanic man whose skin was wrinkled and tanned by long days of working in the sun (should had been wearing that hat then...) He had a fu manchu and a long braided black ponytail. When I saw him, I have to admit I was a little disappointed. I would have like to had seen someone more random like a tiny old lady or perhaps a small, nerdy lady with Tina Fey glasses, or Tina Fey! I guess the hat itself was my dose of random for the day.

OK, I have written more on this blog than I have written for the entire class. I better get back to business... or I think I will make a grocery list. Stay classy...