Class #3 Doobie Debate Debacle

O.K. I have a lot of say today, and I have just learned that we are going to spend the first part of class discussing one of our assignments. Shocker! We have had three classes and I have yet to learn anything about socially oppressed groups. I have, however, learned how to begin writing a research paper, how to visit a social service agency and write about said agency, something last week, that I totally zoned out of, and how to read the syllabus. Ahhh, the value of education.

Any who, I would like this post to focus the Great Marijuana Debate/Debacle from yesterday. So I somehow got doped (pardon the pun) into being in a group to debate the legalization of marijuana for my addiction behaviors class. One girl was TOTALLY against it (which is a perfectly normal response) (so I thought) and another girl wanted to be in the against group as well. So I was, through no fault of my own, forced into the pro-legalization group. I guess this blog proves that I can pretty much b.s. about anything, so I wasn't worried, until yesterday when the crazy "Against" girl attempted an intervention on me. She offered me a thick binder of little "marijuana quizzes" and facts much like a curriculum a teacher would present to her 4th grade students with questions like TRUE or FALSE, Marijuana is a drug. Crazy Anti-Marijuana girl, henceforth referred to as Narc, also notified me that she has a DVD I could watch. I looked at the binder in my hands aptly titled Marijuana and You, and I said to Narc in a somewhat annoyed but delicate way "you know I am only on the Pro-legalization side because someone has to debate you, not because I'm a stoner?" She laughed uncomfortably and gazed off into the beyond. It was at this point that I realized that A.) There is nothing going on upstairs with this one, B.) She's completely bonkers, or C.) All of the above. I also realized that I'm not going to be able to use the jokes I had planned for my debate, i.e. Pro-Legalization reason 1: My friends said it's cool., and general rebuttal of the anti-legalization groups reasons: "dude, quit harshin' on my mellow."

Even worse than the death of some solid jokes, I had to explain to Narc what a debate entails. This was after she informed me that she was planning on bringing a short video and some anti-marijuana posters to present during her turn in the debate. My brain wondered quietly what pro-legalization posters would look like, and all I came up with was a long haired man with a beard giving the thumbs up. I, again, explained the debate process and its traditional lack of posters and audio-visual equipment. The other, cooler, Against group girl also explained that they shouldn't use posters because the object of the assignment isn't so that I will look like a fool in front of the entire class (but what a crazy assignment that would be...). This made Narc begin to get pretty defensive, I think something like "I just want people to understand the dangers of marijuana use," was said. Then she gave me a look like "Yeah, I'm talking to you, hippie, stoner, sorry excuse for a social worker." At this point I had grown bored with this person, so I handed her my four Pro reasons (minus my joke points, of course) and asked for hers in return. She handed me the behemoth Marijuana and You, at which point I firmly informed her that I did not intend on reading it, and she needed to give me some bullet points. After about half an hour or so the only point I squeezed out of her was "well, it's just so bad for you." When she said this, the little devil on my shoulder rubbed her hands in an evil genius sort of way in anticipation of certain debate victory. We will have to see how it goes next week. I recently learned that my debate partner dropped the class so I will be going it alone. I think this weekend will be spent watching good lawyer and stoner movies so I will be prepared to mark a victory for pro-legalization advocates around the country, or so Narc can learn what a debate is.

Also, something funny from last night's class is my professor's use of the word "moobs" for man boobs. A term that sent me into a church-laugh downward spiral that made Narc look at me suspiciously. I bet she picked up Marijuana and You and checked off "Giggles" on the "Signs of a Marijuana User" handout with a pointed "Uh, huh," and a hard check with her ball point pen.

Whatever, I would rather be thought of as a stoner hippie than a square who doesn't know what a debate is.

Take it easy, brothers...