Gaybraham Lincoln

Hey, there! I hope you all are well. I would like to start out by saying that I just overheard the annoying old lady sitting next to me say that Abe Lincoln was gay. Shocking! She would know, too, because she probably used to hang out with him at the Gettysburg Address Men's Review. That would also explain his love for flamboyant, over-the-top hats and his unfortunate love for the theater...

Anyway, the reason I am sounding so stereotypical is because I am attempting to mock the stereotypical temperature of our country right now. No, not really, I was just trying to make a bad random joke. And nothing is more random than saying Abraham Lincoln was homosexual.

And since I am writing this while sitting in a class called Socially Oppressed Groups, I would like to recant my previous charges against "The Feet". It turns out that she is very nice and kind of cool, albeit a little vapid. I guess that just shows that you shouldn't judge someone based exclusively upon the ghastly and horrific appearance of their feet.

Another update: I rocked the marijuana debate! Yippee!

Narc came off as a weird person with terrible grammar. She kept slamming her fists on the podium and repeated "AT WHAT COST? AT WHAT COST?"

I rebutted, "My opponent says 'At what cost?' But I say, think of the 7 billion dollar gain... Think not of the cost, but of the gain! OF THE GAIN! BLOOD ALONE MOVES THE WHEELS OF HISTORY! [pause] Have you ever asked yourselves in an hour of meditation how long have we been striving for greatness? Brothers and Sisters of Addiction 6349 6:00-8:50 section, I ask you once more rise and be worthy of this historical hour. No revolution is worth anything unless it can defend itself. Some people will tell you marijuana is a bad word. This is our duty to change their perception. I say, stoners and women of the world... unite. We must never acquiesce, for it is together... TOGETHER THAT WE PREVAIL. WE MUST NEVER CEDE CONTROL OF THE MOTHERLAND... FOR IT IS TOGETHER THAT WE PREVAIL!!!"

No, wait, that was somebody else. I didn't say that. I just smirked a little and moved on with my presentation. But I totally won!

OK, I guess that is all for now. I have to pay attention a little now... до свидания!